LOST Theories - DarkUFO

As the weeks, days and hours slip past many a Lost zealot walks the street in mourning robe and requisite sign proclaiming, “The End is Near.” Oh what an ending it will be. Before anyone, hopefully, can come to the same conclusion, Here’s exactly what will happen at the end of Lost.

First Prediction: One of the largest television audiences will watch the finale. Will it match the MASH finale? Perhaps. Will it be higher than the Superbowl? More than likely. The loyal followers of Lost will drag every relative, friend, co-worker, and casual acquaintance in to the Lost web in the weeks before the finale. With over four hours of broadcast time on Sunday devoted to Lost, most assuredly there will be parties to rival the Final Four and the Superbowl. The most troublesome ones will be the theme parties. Please remember to curtail drinking. People need to follow the show and no one wants the Hurley look alike to live up to his namesake.

Second Prediction: After the finale, Lost DVD and memorabilia sales will go through the roof…and then tank…..and then return in ten years and tank in six months….and then return in twenty years. Wow! What a bold prediction. This is a staple of the modern era of entertainment. Once we get the Complete Lost Series Collection we will certainly be happy. Right? Don’t run to the store immediately. There will be the Definitive Complete Lost Series Collection released around the holidays. Shortly before the fifth anniversary we’ll have the Definitive Complete Lost Series Collection (Director’s Cut). The tenth anniversary edition will include actual pieces of those nasty drawers Sawyer was wearing while on a drunken binge in The Substitute. For the Twentieth anniversary? Your very own smoke monster.

Third Prediction: Everyone will be a genius in the next few weeks. There will be more “I know exactly what the hell is going on with the whole thing” theories flying around. Everyone will be very close. Some may even figure it out completely. They will hold their heads high, but they shouldn’t. They had six years and thousands of great theories thrown around on these boards to stoke their imaginations. The ones who should hold their heads high are those who figured it out in Episode 2. Now those would be the geniuses…or someone really lucky. The rest of us? We’re just being entertained.

Fourth Prediction: No show will come close to pulling in such a learned and varied audience. If an audience member was not an Egyptian mythology buff before the show, they soon became one. Some may have even enrolled in graduate courses to gain an edge on the writers. Some shows provoke passing interest in their subjects. The amount of detail going into the theories from Lost is staggering. Many a university professor would be in academic heaven if students turned in those kinds of research papers.
Enjoy the rest of the episodes. We’re in for a bumpy ride!

We welcome relevant, respectful comments.
blog comments powered by Disqus