My theory is that the whole story of Lost is similar to the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie "Total Recall".
I believe that everyone associated with the show (including the others - Ben etc.) were unhappy with their lives and signed up for an Adventure vacation (Virtual Reality).
Everything that has been happening - they signed up for.
They were warned of violence, confusion, mysteries, etc., and they agreed to the terms & conditions.
I believe that when people die -their "vacation" has ended and they return to their regular life.
I believe that the characters that seem to be "in the know", (such as Jacob, Hawking etc.)work for the vacation company.
I believe that at the end - we will see that everyone voluntarily agreed and wanted this adventure.